Doing oneself or being done to by another?

Sometimes I find myself wondering about when I need to have some input from “outside”, knowing there is no outside,  and when I need to keep my own counsel and reach within myself for healing.

When is it appropriate to ask for help and how and from whom?

My experience shows me the answer in a beautiful interweaving of connections and encounters which all show up at the right time in the right place.

There is such a plethora of healing modalities about these days, it’s difficult to choose if you have to do it from the thinking / analyzing mind.

From within me comes the impulse, the desire to approach one or other person for help or healing. Last year, from within me came the impulse to ask Jeshua for help to heal after years of being in and out of hospitals, having tests and being diagnosed with a cancerous tumour which was running my life and causing untold pain and disruption, not to mention that I also had a pretty poor prognosis.

I had seen a doctor who took the time to explain the letter of discharge from the hospital after one of my usual stays – and the outlook was pretty dire from the conventional medical point of view. Another doctor I’d seen was alternative but he too was pressurising me to accept his expensive treatment because of the prognosis. I came away feeling empty. I meditated and breathed into the feeling and found that what was required was my own participation in my healing.

I’d gone to bed early and awoke after midnight. I rose and sat down to meditate and pray. And there came from deep within me this  sudden plea to Jeshua for healing. I said to him: “Jeshua, I am ready to heal my mind. Show me how.” Jeshua, also known as Jesus, is my guide and support and provides the teachings for the Way of Mastery through Jon Marc Hammer, Jayem.

The very next day (he works fast!), I received an unexpected phone call to inform me that there was some money available to me which  was enough to cover the cost both of my flight to Bali and of the  Palpable Forgiveness of the Way of Mastery workshop with Jayem – – which would be taking place in a month’s time. I had already worked with Jayem, so I knew his masterful approach would leave no stone unturned to help me discover the taproots of my affliction.

My time in Bali at the Alam Cinta Ashram in Ubud was a true turning point. As I was told upon enrolling, “You will not be the same after the workshop”.  This turned out to be an understatement! The depth at which we communicated on the workshop was unparalleled by any other experience I’d ever had. I discovered the emotional gain I’d been having from being ill – and while this seems most obvious, it was not easy for me to face, hence my denial and my willingness to settle for less. I had settled for less for years! I had begun to accept chronic illness and unhappiness as necessary evils.

Now, over a year later, my life has changed completely. My health is immeasurably improved, I am happy and  I am aiming high! By this I mean simply that I desire to be and extend Love.  I have been shown how to heal the body by changing my mind, how to cultivate the Love that I am as a remembrance practice, a new circle of friends has appeared. I am surrounded by people who are aligned with my highest ideal of myself. I have been introduced to another healing modality which is awesomely effective: Divine Healing as practised by Nicolas David Ngan ( and Ahlmeirah Ariel Hallaire (

One of the deciding elements of changing my mind was the decision I took to start appreciating my life and feeling gratitude for all things, even the things and situations and people which seemed to be negative or adverse to me. Thus the chronic illness which has brought me to this point is a reason for gratitude, for thanks to the suffering being so awful, I wanted to change. Any situation which presses my “buttons” I now welcome with relish, for it allows me to light up the darkest corners of the self which causes the suffering and tries to obscure the Self which is the seat of Joy, Peace, Love. And in that lighting up, the darkness melts away!

So the part we play in our healing is crucial. We have to be ready to heal and then  tools come, money shows up, support is given in myriad ways, miracles occur, people are sent our way, information pours in. It all becomes effortless and in this effortlessness comes   the Joy, comes the Love, comes the Trust  which raises us up to a frequency where suffering is no longer  necessary and happiness is possible.



Detoxification of Body and Mind: If you don’t change your mind, it won’t work

Everybody knows  – or do they? – that before we can truly absorb nutrients, it is vital to detoxify the body. So many people I know tell me they are detoxifying their body by drinking some herbal tea or other, intended to target some organ or other and they continue to live and eat and drink during the process just as they did before. Then they marvel at the fact that nothing has changed.

  In order to detoxify the body, whole courageous  processes are required. These           processes take time, dedication, patience and faith. They are a step into the   Unknown, uncharted territory. We take our courage into both hands and start to   flush out all the accumulated toxins in the gut, the kidneys, the liver by actually doing proper cleanses which involve water, oil, and certain herbs.We cannot know how we will react – and as the general consensus is to tread ever so carefully and worry excessively about our Health and Safety, we are unlikely to find much support among friends and family. We might be fortunate and attract to ourselves the counsel of one who has gone before us and who can encourage and accompany us on this new adventure. For more details, go to It is the adventure of Taking Your Health into Your Own Hands.

Often, it takes a Crisis for us to make a courageous decision. In the case of the body, it will be a physical illness or a sense of being under par. Once we have taken the decision, we embark on the new adventure.

After the cleanses have been successfully completed and health, energy and vitality emerge,  self-confidence increases, for we have survived and indeed we are on the way to thriving. This takes time, for toxicity has accumulated in our physical cells from many sources: external, such as pollution, poor diet, lack of water, lack of exercise, past dental work, to name but a few – and internal,  such as  negative thoughts translating into feelings of suffering and these resulting in toxic chemicals being released in the body.

Only after we have taken out the blockages to the absorption of nutrients – the toxins – is it meaningful to start taking in new and vital nutrients in any form: supplements or Superfoods like Spirulina, Cacao Beans, Maca, Chlorella as examples.

Otherwise, as a tutor on a Healing Course once said, “It’s like putting icing on top of the crap.”

This applies to the mind just as it does to the body.

It is vital to detoxify the mind before we can truly absorb the Reality of Love that we are. We are required in this case to leave behind our safety and comfort zones and here too, be brave enough to enter into the Unknown. How do we do this?  We start to allow for a different way of seeing things, a different way of perceiving the world about us and our fellow beings. We begin by recognising that we do not – as we previously thought – know the outcome of our days and weeks and months and years, but that every moment brings with it a new experience, for each new moment is uncharted territory. It has never existed before and it will never exist again.

I hear the thought popping up: “That’s all very well and might well be true – but ….”

The “but” sits in our minds as a witness to all the fear we  feel at the mere thought of allowing change. In fact, it is the Fear of Living Fully and it permeates our beliefs and actions. It is due to the amnesia we suffer from: we have simply forgotten Who We Are and believe ourselves to be small and insignificant and subject to victimization and we feel  powerless to do anything about it.

The “but” thus represents our holding onto the same old thoughts and beliefs while hoping for change for the better. We do not realise that this is simply impossible. Our thoughts and beliefs create our reality and thus we keep having the same reality confirmed as long as we keep the same beliefs.

Again, as with the body, it usually takes  A Crisis Of Some Sort for us to finally fall to our knees and recognise that we cannot take another step – we have reached rock bottom and are forced to admit our helplessness. We literally have to change our mind or stay stuck in deep unhappiness.

Let this not be a call to grandiosity. This is a call to let ourselves grow into our full splendor while retaining the humility required before so awesome an event; for not I live my life, but Life lives Itself through me and the more I allow, the more harmless I become – until I am completely harmless and can be seen by the world as bringing true Peace for it is the Peace I have found within myself.